Friday, July 10, 2009

Soup Du Jour for the Incarcerated

After a three-month hiatus, I've decided to resurrect The Greasy Bookshelf, where I spotlight significant food moments in books I've read.

I bet there´s rich folks eating in a fancy dining car
they´re probably drinkin´ coffee and smoking big cigars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can´t be free
but those people keep a movin´
and that´s what tortures me...

Well if they´d free me from this prison,
if that railroad train was mine
I bet I´d moved it all a little further down the line
far from Folsom prison, that's where I want to stay
and I´d let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.....
I bet I´d move just a little further down the line
far from Folsom prison, that's where I want to stay
and I´d let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.....

***"Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash

I have an acquaintance who works at the state prison in Lansing, so I often ask him about prison food and what's on the cafeteria menu. Two weeks ago when the temperature assaulted us with triple digits, he told me that they served the inmates soup. It should be noted that the inmates don't have air conditioning, and they were served a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup, not a chilled gazpacho. Needless to say the inmates were pissed. I sympathize with them. It does seem a bit cruel and unusual. If I would have been dining in the prison cafeteria that day, I would have jumped up on a table and shouted, "At-tic-ca! At-tic-ca! At-tic-ca!" I'm sure they throw inmates in the hole for such antics, , but at least there I'd have time to allow my soup to cool.


Today I pulled The Hot House: Life Inside Leavenworth Prison by Pete Earley off the Greasy Bookshelf. In addition to having the state prison located in nearby Lansing, Leavenworth is also home to the United States Penitentiary and the United States Disciplinary Barracks located in Ft. Leavenworth, so prisons are a big industry in the area.

Anyway, the book gives a dramatic (maybe overly dramatic) look at life inside the Leavonworth Pen. It's a quick read, and there are a few good "foodie" moments in the book that show us food is more than food. My favorite involves a Sunday evening ritual for inmates who work in the kitchen. During this time they're allowed to cook their own meals. Mr. Earley gives us a glimpse of this unique freedom in the following passage:

Technically, the kitchen was closed. Inmates had to make do on Sunday morning with a brunch of coffee, milk, and pastries, and a dinner of cold cuts and bread. But behind the kitchen's stainless-steel doors, the inmate cooks divided themselves, as always, along ethnic lines and the mammoth kitchen took on the atmosphere of a church bazaar. Black inmates ate fried chicken with thick white gravy in one area; a handful of Chicanos dined on tortillas and refried beans in another. Bucklew and his crew ate spaghetti and pork chops in the officers' cafeteria.


While it's not exactly as elaborate and adventurous as the mafia dinner-behind-bars ritual described in Nicholas Pileggi's book Wiseguys (Many of you probably recall this moment as it's depicted in the movie Goodfellas), it still sounds tasty to me.

always be a good boy; don't ever play with guns,
muddy

PS. . . I'm sure taking photographs of prison is prohibited, but I'll go to great lengths to give my readers what they want.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Guy and Mae's Tavern

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

***From the movie The Blues Brothers.



Recently I traveled to Melvern, KS., with the man who is known as The Oracle in some outer limits of the blogosphere.
The main purpose of the trip was to hear The Oracle's brother's band -- The Barnyard Boys -- perform. The band's name makes me think of Akroyd and Belushi in The Blues Brothers posing as The Good Ol' Boys and performing in some backwater bar with only chicken wire to protect them from a barrage of beer bottles.

Even though our ultimate goal was hearing The Barnyard Boys harmonize, strum, and pick, we had another purpose, eat ribs at Guy and Mae's Tavern in Williamsburg, Kansas.
They're known for their barbecue ribs, and other than the pitchers of beer, I can't really recommend anything else there. I'm not going to sit here and tell you these are the greatest ribs in the world, but when you visit Guy and Mae's Tavern, you'll receive friendly service and very good ribs with tender meat that gently pulls from the bones. They're stripped-down, unassuming ribs. There's just a hint of smoke and they're served dry, seasoned with just salt and pepper, and the sauce is served the side. The ribs are much like Kansans: hearty, simple, plain, and sincere. They don't try to be something they aren't, and that's what I love about Guy and Mae's ribs. This is probably why Guy and Mae's is one of 8 Wonders of Kansas Cuisine.

(If I was a dog, I'd hang around in front of Guy & Mae's also. Does anyone have a doggie bag?

keep the sauce on the side,
muddy

PS. . . It was a good evening, complete with the 3 b's: barbecue, beer, and The Barnyard Boys' version of "The Blue Moon Over Kentucky." The Oracle reveled in the 4 b's by adding beans to the tri-fecta. The only thing missing was bacon and maybe, bourbon.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Overactive Imagination: Muddywaters, Recent Parolee

If I'm ever in prison, and I'm fortunate enough to be paroled, I'll probably spend a lot of time in Haskell Square. It's one-stop shopping for the ex-con looking to claw his way back into society.

There's the parole office.

When I'm a little short on cash and I need to pay the electric bill, I can secure a loan at American Payday LoansI can rent my favorite Hitchcock films at Miracle Video. Maybe they'll have my favorite prison movie, Cool Hand Luke.


I can purchase the occasional six-pack and bottle of tequila at Haskell Liquors.There's a diner to get a meal when I don't feel like cooking.
There's a tavern, where I could grab the occasional drink when I felt like having some company.


Of course, good bbq is essential to any rehabilitative effort.
Finally, there's a Food Mart for my groceries.


Of course, I write jokingly about the plight of the ex-con. I firmly believe everyone should have the opportunity to improve his/her life, and I sincerely want the best for everyone.

For my next Lawrence fieldtrip, I'll visit one of the following destinations:
  1. Kelly's diner
  2. Grandaddy's BBQ
  3. Food Mart
Sorry, you're not going to get me in the Crosstown Tavern, which is also known by some as the Crosstown Gun and Knife Club. When I took the picture of the tavern, I took it from afar because there were some folks on the front patio who looked like they were ready to drag me from my minivan and kick my ass. I'm sure it was just my overactive imagination. They're probably good folks. Anyone thinking of encouraging me to visit the Crosstown, read this.

Anyway, cast your vote, and during the evening of Monday, July 6th, I'll tabulate the votes.

never give up on change,
muddy