Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My Bearded Brethren

The other day I mentioned to my wife that when I retire I might grow a beard, put on a few pounds, and be a professional Santa Claus. She promptly clipped the wings of this dream by informing me that I'm not jolly enough for the job. She's right. Jolly would never be an adjective used to describe me, unless I'm drunk, but we all know that no one wants a drunk Santa with a margarita salt crusted beard who enjoys twirling tiki torches. I can still dream though, and I definitely can grow a belly and a beard. I'll look on the bright side: I possess 2 of the 3 traits essential for being a Santa.

I enjoy growing a beard this time of the year. It's a perfect blend of aesthetics and function.

Subconsciously, I probably picked The Avett Brothers as my first unofficial house band because they've been known to sport some mighty fine beards.

Today I thought I'd share a abbreviated timeline tracing my fascination with beards.

I can probably trace my fascination with beards back to this portrait hanging in the Pomona United Methodist Church sanctuary:

Who wouldn't want to possess that glow? Is it the beard or something divine?

Around the same time I was introduced to Jesus, GI Joe entered my life.

As you can see, at one time he possessed a beard.

Later one of my favorite TV shows was Grizzly Adams. Mr. Adams along with his pet bear, Ben, might have been the hairiest duo to ever appear on television.

Finally as a teenager, I aspired to someday have a beard like Robert Redford in the movie Jeremiah Johnson.

Today when it comes to beards, the Avett Brothers are my role models. Watch the following video, admire their beards, and while you're at it, enjoy the great songwriting.

Beards or no beards, I love the last two verses of the song:

If I get murdered in the city
Go read the letter in my desk
Don’t worry with all my belongings
But pay attention to the list

Make sure my sister knows I loved her
Make sure my mother knows the same
Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name
Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name

don't go revengin' in my name,

PS . . . I'm in the process of making a cranberry-walnut bread. I'll post later this week.


Jenni said...

Funny you should write about beards today. I've been searching beard styles for dh. He decided to try growing one again in late September and has had a nice, full beard for the last few months. He's gotten a lot of compliments, but he's also been told he looks like Jesus and Grizzly Adams. Well, they're both okay in my book.

I wouldn't say I've got a thing for beards, but looking back on it there have been quite a few men I have admired with beards, beginning with Grizzly Adams and Jeremiah Johnson. In fact, I'll admit something a little embarrassing to you. I used to have a crush on the Burger King. Not that creepy one with the huge plastic head you see nowadays. Remember when Burger King was a real person? Just the other day I was again reflecting on how much dh resembles the old Burger King with that beard and his auburn hair, and let me tell you, it's hawt.

JoAAAnna said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Avett Brothers - especially this song. I just sent a link to my husband with several of their YouTube links hoping he will give me either their CD's or a iPod card so I can download them.

As much as I love ya cuz, I'm not sure you (or many) can pull off the Avett Brothers, or Grizzly or Redford beard. A nice trimmed, winter beard is quite nice though.

Good luck! And am looking forward to the bread recipe - I love Whole Foods version!

muddywaters said...

Jenni: I won't comment on your love of the Burger King. Instead, at the next party I attend, I'll tell the story about the crazy lady who has a crush on the Burger King.

JoAnna: I really recommend The Avett Brothers' album "Emotionalism". However, their latest isn't bad, but "Emotionalism" is perfect.

Also, I take your words about my inability to pull of the Jeremiah Johnson beard as a challenge. You will eat your words.

Merl:I accidentally deleted your comment, but I appreciate you visiting.

JoAAAnna said...

My response to YOUR response: Send your wife my apologies.

Actually my husband is growing his winter scruff out and it looks quite nice. I'm surprised at how much GRAY there is!