Friday, January 9, 2009

Mr. Crankypants is in the House

muddywaters received a Nintendo Wii for Christmas, so right now he's downstairs playing a game. It's a damn waste of time if you ask me. A 38-year-old man playing a game where the objective is to ride a warthog isn't exactly the type of activity that will pull our economy out of its current abyss. If he's not going to help the economy, he could at least give the environment a helping hand by going outside and churning his compost pile. While muddy is downstairs wanking away with his Wii, I commandeered the computer, so I could get a few things off my chest.

First I'm annoyed with Pizza Hut. Lately they've been pounding the airwaves pimping this new Natural pizza. I really don't know what the hell it is. I just know that the damn commercial they've been running has detracted from the great joy I derive from watching college football bowl games. Each time I catch a glimpse of the commercial, I think: If this pizza is made with natural ingredients, what the hell is in the other pizzas? Then I picture some chemical plant in New Jersey churning out ingredients for Pizza Hut. Natural pizza. This just pisses me off. If you're thinking of sending me something to alter my mood, please don't send me this:


I shoudn't have to explain why an edible fruit arrangement annoys the hell out of me.

Think for yourself &
Question authority,
Mr. Crankypants

11 comments:

Nella said...

It's wrong on so many levels....the "natural pizza" and the food arrangement. Watch out for the bowling on Wii. That's how Mr. Wii blew out his knee.
Have fun!

Rechelle said...

O.M.G.!!!

Mr Crankypants is hysterical.

I sputtered out loud on the whole "natural ingredients part" I never sputter out loud when I read blogs. NEVER!

muddywaters said...

Sorry. I put Mr Crankypants back in his cage. Later today I'm going to have him make a roux, which usually mellows him a bit.

It looks like I need to change the passwords on my laptop, so he doesn't use The Greasy Skillet has his personal soapbox.

Nella: Thanks for the Wii tip. My muscles have been tender the last couple of weeks from playing.

Rechelle: I'll let Mr. Crankypants know that you appreciated his rant. To his credit, he did restrain himself somewhat. Normally, he's a lot angrier and cynical. He was relatively calm for this rant.

Diane of Crafty Passions said...

Saw your name on another foodie blog, you asked if anyone else had experienced jello food.. well my Gramma use to make a lime jello she would throw in peas and cubed carrots and celery and it would be rather solid, she would declare this to be the Jello Salad,wasen't my fav but I would have a big spoonful to make her happy.Anything for my Gramma.
Diane

rebel said...

Mr. Crankypants IS funny!
The only jello recipe I know is Jello shots. I personally think that's the only thing jello should be used for.

High Plains Drifters said...

I love how they throw out there that their new sauce doesn't have HFCS... which means that all of their old sauce does.

We never eat there... not a big fan of delivery, unless the rest of the house is suffering from projectile vomiting or the like...

Back in the ATL, Publix (based out of FL) had a good made-in-house pie... or at least, good for the seven bucks they charged for it. Made it fresh each day, wrapped it, you cooked it at home, and if it didn't sell by the end of the day, they pitched them. They also sold 'za dough, for about a two bucks a bag... not a bad back up plan if one couldn't throw some flour into the bread maker and press the "dough" button.

But all that not withstanding, this ad merely serves as a reminder that their basic pie is a heart attack on a plate.

Sarah said...

Eek, "natural pizza?" When I read that phrase, I pictured a machine that stamps pizza-like garnishes into a pizza-like round of rubber. Mr. Crankypants, your crankiness has been educational!

Kate said...

I hate those natural pizza commercials. They followed the stupid commercials about their pasta, which was apparently so good, it fooled "New Yorkers." Because all New Yorkers are pasta experts, obviously.

I've also always hated the edible fruit arrangements, but everyone else seems to think that makes me a grinch.

Marilyn said...

The natural pizza is a joke, the football fruit-flowers are silly, Mr. Crankypants is funny, but for the love of god...please don't mention "wanking" and "Wii" in the same sentence again!

And Rechelle, I'm appalled that you never sputter at my blog. * sulks away *

holybovine said...

Along the same line... One day last week, I ate a steak and cheese burrito and had to chuckle at the manufacturer's proud comment on the label: Made with Real Cheese! OK, that's great. What kind of steak did I eat???

Maggie said...

Don't get me started on that Pizza Hut commercial, it is such a headache. And that football thing is ghastly *shudder*