Five Foods I'll Never Buy

In the Greasy Skillet I strive to be positive and gracious. However, today's edition of The Greasy Five borders on food snobbery and contains a little bit of negativity. If you enjoy any of the foods I'm about to list, I apologize. These are just foods that I personally would not buy or consume, and I'm not judging anyone who enjoys the occasional hot pocket.

The Greasy Five
Foods I'll Never Buy

1. Hot Pockets - For the record, I could listen to Jim Gaffigan talk about Hot Pockets 24/7. Check it out: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aUGG_6griA.
2. Dwight Yoakam's Chicken Lickin's: I'm a huge fan of the neo-traditional, nasally, country twang of Dwight Yoakam. In fact, if I made a list of the top-five artists I like to listen to as I cook, Dwight would make my list. I, however, am not a fan of Dwight Yoakam, purveyor of processed poultry products.

3. Peanut Butter Flavored Banana Pops!: I refuse to buy anything that is advertised as a "Peanut Butter Flavored Coating Kit" or with a chimp/monkey on the package. I'm no Martha Stewart, but couldn't a fella just buy a jar of peanut butter to get this job done.

4. Tyson Fun Nuggets: Breaded Shaped Chicken Bites: No comment needed.

5. Kronik Entrourage: If I smoke some Chronic and chase it with some Kronik, what will happen? What if I do this while listening to some Crunk?