OKC: National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum

muddywaters often slings disparaging comments my way, but I'm here to tell you that life with him is like being on picnic with Satan. I was frequently reminded of this on our recent road trip to Oklahoma City. Never travel with the guy because food is the only thing ping-ponging around that little brain of his, and these are the only three questions he ever ponders:

1. When are we going to eat?
2. Where are we going to eat?
3. What are we going to eat?

That's the range of his conversation, 24/7. Imagine being on a road trip through the great state of Oklahoma. You want to talk about why the dirt is red. You want to talk about the Oklahoma land rush. You want to talk about The Trail of Tears and the Native Americans. You want to talk about Les Paul and the fact that he invented the electric guitar in Oklahoma. You want to explore Oklahoma's rich music history. You want to do all of this and explore the great state, but you're with a companion who possesses a one-track mind and he only wants to eat. It's a f'ing drag.

On the entire trip, I was only able to do one thing on my agenda, visit the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum and he managed to sour that experience for me. At a museum I like to immerse myself in the experience, spending hours viewing exhibits, but he rushed me through the museum. He flit around like a hummingbird in a field of honeysuckle, but he never returned with any damn nectar. I don't think he savored a thing in the museum.

At one point I was immersed in an Albert Bierstadt painting, a grand work of art that beautifully captured the light of the sunset in the West, and muddy rudely interrupted me by tapping my shoulder and saying, "Hey, come check out this Nudie suit that was worn by Marty Robbins. We should buy a Nudie suit."

Then muddy dragged me around to a series of places in the museum that allowed photography, and he insisted I snap photos of him.

He posed like some ass clown in front of stuff that didn't really matter a hill of beans to me.
I spent so much time taking asinine pictures of him that I didn't get to really enjoy the museum. I didn't get to see all of the fabulous art, the Western exhibits, the beautifully landscaped grounds complete with sculptures, or their great exhibit on the history of the electric guitar.
Next time I'm returning without muddy, so I can enjoy this grand museum that's worth the trip to Oklahoma City. Plan on spending the day there because it will take at least 5-6 hours to see everything.

Keep the Ass Clowns at home,

Mr. Crankypants