Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Greasy Five: My Favorite Blogger Stories

Thank God for Talkers

I grew up at the knee of front-porch talkers, of people who could tell a story and make you believe you had been there, right there, in the path of the bullet or the train, in the warm arms of a new mother, in the teeth of a mean dog. The men, sometimes dog drunk, sometimes flush with religion but always alight with the power of words, could make you feel the breath of the arching blade as it hissssssssed past their face on the beer joint floor, could make you taste the blood in your mouth from the fist that had smashed into their own, could make you hear the loose change in the deputy's pocket as he ran, reaching for them, just steps behind.

The women in my world, aunts and cousins and grandmas and a girlfriend or two, could telegraph straight to your brain the beauty of babies you never touched, songs you never heard, loves you never felt. They could make you cry about a funeral you never saw, make you mourn for a man you had never met. They could make you give a damn about the world around you. They had a gift, one the rest of us who aspire to be storytellers can only borrow.

***From Somebody Told Me by Rick Bragg

I agree with Rick Bragg. Good storytelling is a gift. The best stories provide sustenance, a sort of biscuits and gravy for the soul. It's my hunger for stories - not food - that drives my addiction to reading blogs. During the course of the year, I've encountered many great stories in the blogosphere. The following are five of my favorite stories and a short excerpt from each:
  • "Seeing Stars" by Marilyn over at Simmer Till Done. Marilyn churns out a quality product post after post. She gracefully uses words to present a passionate, warm, honest portrait of her world, and in the process she makes her readers feel truly at home. In this story, Marilyn tells an unromantic tale about her culinary internship at a five-star restaurant, and in the process, she reveals a truth about life: Sometimes it takes courage to quit.
I sat five minutes in the car, breathing frost in my wet, filthy whites. The restaurant window showed in my rearview mirror, catching a diner raising her glass and a man clinking it, smiling. I yanked down my hair and sped off to the highway, thinking quitter. You burned your fancy bridges. Schooling was what I’d come for and schooling was what I got. I would quit my way into a different kind of kitchen, reasoning that if this was it, what I had was something else.
  • "A Sonic Awakening" by Aaron K at Xocoatal Express: A Journey in Chocolate, Culture & Food. In this story, Aaron tells the story of his first trip to a Sonic, and in the process he makes the commonplace extraordinary. If this story doesn't trip your trigger, read his post titled "The Mother, the Child, the Guru, and the Hershey Kiss"
Life drifting by the window on a summer evening. The hypnotizing gastronomical apparatus of eating a greasy chicken sandwich with a wet sticky lap was actually quite the experience I was hoping for. Was the food good....no it wasn't. Was the waitstaff courteous and prompt....no they weren't. Will I ever go back...you bet your ass I will. The heart of Tallahassee sails unfurled into the night for those willing to seek adventure.
  • "Fabio and the Ivory Billed Woodpecker" by Rechelle over at The Country Doctor's Wife. This story exemplifies the quirky sense of humor you'll find at The Country Doctor's Wife on a daily basis . You can't go wrong with a story that takes place at a songwriters' camp in Arkansas and includes naked hippies.
The rest of the weekend was more of the same... which was a sameness that was so far from sameness that I have not been the same since.
  • "Pork BBQ for the Soul" by Doug DuCap over at Huggining the Coast. I'm not a fan of restaurant reviews, but this one is soulful account of discovering a BBQ restaurant named Duke's.
My banker, Trent, glanced furtively through the glass wall of his office. Satisfied that no one was watching, he leaned across his desk slightly, indicating I should do the same. I drew in closer; when your banker wants to give you insider advice, you pay attention.

“Duke’s,” he said quietly. “It isn’t fancy, but if you want the real thing, that’s it.”
  • "Thanks" by Sarah over at Fritter. I admire two things about Sarah's writing: First, she notices details that most individuals overlook. Second, her concise writing seems to always pack a punch. She does more with fewer words than most bloggers out there in the blogosphere. When she shares her food memories associated with her family, it's always a treat. This story is a perfect example.
Most of my early Thanksgivings were held out on Grammy's farm and to this day, even here in warm, humid South Florida, my mind associates Thanksgiving with cold fronts, straw bales, and Grammy's green Depression glass pitchers of iced tea. One of my earliest memories is the Thanksgiving my dad harnessed Grammy's quarterhorse, Lacy, to an ancient wooden wagon that Grammy housed in her garage. Lacy towed us around the house a few times, ears cocked back toward our boisterous group in the wagon as if to say, "I'm only putting up with this foolishness for the carrots."
Wishin' you the best in '09.
muddywaters

P.S. I promise to post a recipe Friday.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Mr. Cranky Pants

On the pages of The Greasy Skillet, readers get an airbrushed version of myself. Sure, muddywaters is real, but it doesn't tell the whole story of who I am. The unsavory facets of my personality aren't usually put on display for the public. Unfortunately, my wife and daughter endure my long list of faults, mutations of my personality that will probably never change.

I have a persona my wife and daughter refer to as Mr. Cranky Pants. The name says it all: Mr. Cranky Pants, an introverted, cynical, misanthropic, doomsayer who is annoyed by little things. The following are just a few things that might make him appear:
  1. Eating supper/dinner after 6:30.
  2. Eating lunch after 12:30.
  3. Breaking routine.
  4. Changing plans.
  5. Loud talking or shouting.
  6. Dining at restaurants because he starts calculating the money he could have saved by preparing the same dish at home.
  7. Going through a drive-thru lane
  8. Mix radio stations.
  9. The television show Reba.
  10. Fluff, pop cultural
  11. Computer-generated special effects in movies
  12. Politics
  13. Talking
As you can see, he can be a pain in the rear to live with, but my wife and daughter do a good job keeping him in check. They politely let me know when he's in the room, and they humorously suggest that it would be best if he could quickly exit. I'm learning to keep Mr. Cranky pants in his cage.

Not every post I write makes it to the pages of The Greasy Skillet. Crude material. Negativity. Political rants. Poor material. Any of these variables can result in a post never seeing the light of the day -- although, my blog is littered with poor material that slips through quality control. I also try to keep Mr. Cranky pants away from the keyboard. For example, he found his way to the keyboard last week in a post titled "Daddy Needs a Drink" that I never published. Here's a taste:

I feel like I've been sitting in the front row of the circus a bit too long, and I just realized they don't serve liquor. I'm not a front-row guy; I prefer to be on the fringes, observing things from afar. Daddy needs a drink or at least time alone with his skillet or time to work his sourdough into some bread. I'm going to make my way to the exit, so I'll have time for all of these things in the next week or so. As always, I'll keep you posted.

Later in the post, muddywaters takes the keyboard and tries to lighten the mood with a review of a recent book from The Greasy Bookshelf:


Until then, let me share some excerpts from My Jesus Year: A Rabbi's Son Wanders the Bible Belt in Search of His Own Faith by Benyamin Cohen. In addition to cookbooks, books about Presidents, Southern literature, and atlases, I enjoy books about man's search for meaning, especially when it comes to religion. I loved Cohen's book because of its humor. We need more books about religion that make us chuckle. The following is a sampling:

I have a red-and-green Starbucks coffee mug with Christmas decorations drawn on it along with the phrase "It only happens once a year." I'm not really sure what that slogan means. Elizabeth thinks it refers to the special Starbucks holiday flavors - the pumpkin spice latte, the gingerbread latte, the Tazo chai eggnog latte, and the popular peppermint mocha - which are only sold during the Christmas season. My guess is it has to do with Starbucks' attempt to pull on people's heartstrings, reminding them ever so cleverly that the holidays they love and the traditions they cherish only happen once a year, so embrace them. Enjoy them. And have some smooth Arabica coffee while you're at it.

Here's another humorous passage:

The difference between the customs of Jewish festivals and those of Christian ones can be summed up like this. Come December, you guys put a Christmas tree in your house. If this were a Jewish tradition, it would turn rather quickly and depressingly into a Talmudic dissertation on forestry. What kind of tree? How tall is it required to be? How many branches does it need to have? Can we outsource the purchasing of the tree or is the commandment itself the actual action of buying said foliage? But I digress.

Nonetheless, I still feel some of our holiday customs take the cake. Most modern-day Americans do not spend a week every year living in an eight-by-twelve-foot hut built on their driveway. Normal American holidays mean turkey. Present. Garlands. Why couldn't I just be normal? That's really all I ever wanted. Can't a Jew get a little tinsel?

Anyway, you can see that the post was a bit disjointed, but it really illustrates that keeping Mr. Cranky Pants in check is a full-time job and often takes the effort of an entire family. I'm grateful to be surrounded by people who love me despite my shortcomings.

May your flaws never become tragic flaws,
mudddywaters

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Holidays

May peace be with you and your family this holiday season.

love,
muddywaters