Bacon & Cashew Caramel Popcorn

For a brief time in the 1990's, I lived in a cave with a slab of bacon as my only companion. I'd caress that slab of bacon and call it My Precious. It was a bleak period in my life, but that's the dark power bacon holds over me.

Occasionally, I find a recipe using bacon that plunges me into the murky depths of a culinary Mordor, and I wonder if I'll be able to return home. This was the case with the following recipe from Bon Appetit:

Bacon and Cashew Caramel Popcorn

Ingredients:

1/2 cup popcorn kernels

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

6 ounces bacon, chopped

1/2 cup cashews

1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt or coarse sea salt

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

Nonstick vegetable oil spray

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cup water

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

Preparation:

1. Heat popcorn and oil in covered heavy large pot over medium-high heat until kernels begin to pop. Using oven mitts, hold lid on pot and shake pot until popping stops. Pour popcorn into very large bowl.
   
2. Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until almost crisp. Using slotted spoon, transfer to paper towels to drain; cool. Add bacon and cashews to bowl with popcorn. Sprinkle with coarse salt and cayenne; toss to coat.
3. Line rimmed baking sheet with foil; coat with nonstick spray. Coat 2 wooden spoons or heat-resistant spatulas with nonstick spray; set aside.
   
4. Stir sugar, 1/4 cup water, and corn syrup in large saucepan over medium-low heat until sugar dissolves. Increase heat to high; boil without stirring until syrup turns deep amber, occasionally swirling pan and brushing down sides with wet pastry brush, about 13 minutes.
   
5. Remove from heat and immediately add cream (mixture will bubble up). Stir until blended. Immediately drizzle caramel over popcorn mixture; toss with sprayed spoons until evenly coated. Transfer to sheet.
6. Place caramel corn in oven and bake at 250 degrees until caramel is shiny and coats popcorn, tossing mixture occasionally, about 20 minutes. Cool completely on sheet on rack, tossing occasionally to break up large clumps. DO AHEAD: Can be made 2 days ahead. Store airtight in refrigerator.

(Bacon, the star of this production)

I adapted this recipe slightly. It called for me to steep an oolong teabag in the cream, but I didn't have this tea in my pantry. This recipe rocks without the oolong, but I'm curious about what flavor the tea would add.

Salty. Sweet. Smokey. Spicey. I must find a slab of bacon and crawl back into my cave.

all that is gold does not glitter,
muddy

Apricot & White Chocolate Cookies

Sometimes me think what is love, and then me think love is what last cookie is for. Me give up the last cookie for you.

****The Cookie Monster

When I bite into something tasty, I imagine loin-clothed clad and club-bearing neurons storming the fortress of my brain that monitors calories and social norms. Inside the the wall of that fortress, tie-wearing neurons scan ledgers and listen to Pat Boone as they monitor any signs of irrational behavior on my part. It's a full-time job.

When those conservative neurons detect something awry, they march in a single-file formation in a concerted effort to suppress my appetite. They don't stand a chance against my raging, craving, ravenous neurons. Appetite rules!

Appetite rules, especially when it comes to cookies. Now typically, I like a thin, chewy cookie devoid of raisins, In my opinion, raisins have ruined many good cookies. However, occasionally a recipe comes around that challenges my tastes. This is the case with today's recipe, apricot and white chocolate cookies.

It's a denser cookie. It comes out of oven gnarled. It contains dried fruit. Think of it as the Ernest Borgnine of cookies. This cookie gets three strikes at first glance, which is why after my wife baked these cookies they sat on the counter untouched for 24 hours (a personal record for me). When I did taste this cookie I was blown away. These cookies possess a creamy, velvetty texture. Maybe it has something to do with the butter or the cream cheese or the sugar. And those dried apricots - they bring something special to the party also.

You gotta try these.

Apricot & White Chocolate Cookies

Ingredients

7 tablespoons unsalted butter
7 tablespoons cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup chopped dried apricots
1/4 cup white chocolate chips or chopped white chocolate

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. In a large mixing bowl beat together the butter and cream cheese. Add the sugar and beat until fluffy. Gradually add the flour, then fold in the apricots and chocolate. The dough will be quite soft but don't worry!
3. Drop the mixture by heaped teaspoons onto non-stick or parchment paper-lined cookie sheets, spacing well apart, and bake in the oven for about 15 minutes or until lightly golden. Let cool on the cookie sheets for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

me leave last cookie for you,
muddywaters

Rugelach

Once upon a time, the evening news was reality TV, and the closest thing we had to food blogs were recipe cards passed along to family and friends. During this fabled age, my culinary view of the world was limited to potluck dinners, where something like cabbage rolls, Jello salads, and three-bean salads were examples of extreme cuisine.

In today's information age, we now have a panoramic view of the culinary landscape. Today the flavors of the world are at our fingertips, and that's what led to my first attempt at rugelach, a traditional Jewish pastry.

The first bite of the buttery, flaky rugelach reminded me of the scraps of pie dough sprinkled with cinnamon sugar that my mother would sometimes bake as an impromptu afternoon snack. By the second bite, I realized that rugelach might be the perfect companion for a little conversation and coffee.

The following recipe is from Carole Walter's outstanding book Great Coffee Cakes, Sticky Buns, Muffins, & More:

Rugelach

Ingredients:

• 1/2 of this dough recipe.
  

• 1/2 cup sugar


• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon cocoa powder


• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon


• 1/2 cup apricot preserves


• 1 teaspoon freshly grated orange zest


• 1 cup mini-chocolate chips


• 3/4 cup medium chopped walnuts or pecans (optional. My rugelach are nutless because Little Miss Pickyeater doesn't like nuts, unless they're good cashews)
  

Preparation:

1. Position the racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven, and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper and set aside.


2. Combine the sugar, cocoa powder, and cinnamon in a small bowl. In another small bowl, combine the preserves with the zest. Set aside.


3. Remove one piece of dough from the refrigerator, and divide it in half. Reshape each half into a small rectangle. Working with one piece at time, place the dough on a lightly floured pastry board or other flat surface and roll into an 8 x 10-inch rectangle. Arrange the dough so the 10-inch side is parallel to the edge of the board or countertop.


4. Using a spatula, spread the rectangle with 2 tablespoons of preserves, leaving a 3/4-inch margin on the far side of the sough. Sprinkle with two tablespoons of the sugar/cocoa mixture, followed by 1/4 cup of chocolate chips and nuts, if using.


5. Brush the far edge and the side of the dough with the egg wash, then roll into a log, gently stretching the dough on either end as you roll. When the log measure approximately 12- inches long, use a dough scraper or sharp knife to cut into twelve 1-inch pieces. Place on the prepared pan and chill while shaping the remaining dough.


6. Dip the top of each piece into the egg wash, then into the reserved nuts. Return to the pan and press the nuts gently into the top to adhere, flattening the cookie slightly.


7. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the rugelach are golden brown. To ensure even baking, toward the end of baking time, rotate the pans from top to bottom and front to back. Remove from the oven and let cool on pans for about 10 minute. Loosen rugelach from cookie sheet and place on cooling racks. Dust with powdered sugar before serving.

Shalom,
muddy

Throwin' High and Wide with Confidence: The Steve Sax Syndrome & Pastry Dough Revised

In the past, I've written about my ineptness when it comes to baking pastries. I'm fine with yeast, flour, water, and a little salt, but when I invite butter and sugar to the party, I end up looking like a fool. And we all know that it's not cool to be a fool.

My wife and I plan on running a bed and breakfast when we retire, and since running a B & B without pastries would like be running a bar with beer, I need to become somewhat skilled in the butter and sugar department. Fortunately, there are a lot of great resources out there to help me hone my skills. Last year Marilyn over at Simmer Till Done introduced me to Carole Walter, who wrote the amazing book Great Coffee Cakes, Sticky Buns, Muffins, & More.
This book should be part of every cook's library. It's the first book that made me comfortable working with pastry dough. I used 1/2 of the dough to make the Apple-Almond Braid posted over at Simmer Till Done. Then later I pulled the remaining dough from the freezer for my first attempt at rugelach. Tomorrow, I'll post that experience and recipe.

A Simple, Buttery Pastry Dough

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, spoon in and leveled, plus additional for kneading and rolling the dough
• 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 3 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 large egg yolk
• 1/3 cup sour cream

1. I large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar,s alt and baking powder. Set aside.


2. Place the cream cheese in the bowl of an electric mixer. With the paddle attachment, mix on medium-low speed until smooth. Blend int he butter in four additions, mixing until smooth.


3. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg yolk and sour cream, and then blend into the butter mixture. The mixture will look separated. Scrape down the side of the bowl as needed.


4. With he mixer off, add about one-third of the flour mixture. On low speed, mix until blended. Add the remaining flour in two more additions. Be sure to not overmix.


5. Remove the bowl from the machine and empty the dough onto a lightly flour pastry board. With floured hands, knead until smooth. Divide the dough in half, dust with flour, and shape each half into a 3 1/2 x 5-inch rectangle. Cover each piece tight in plastic wrap and refrigerate for a t least 4 hour or up to 3 days. You may also free this dough up to three months.

take care,
muddy

Pumpkin Bars

Yesterday I baked a batch of pumpkin bars for a party we were planning on attending. However, my daughter and I were both feeling a little punys, so we stayed home. Now we havea pan of these crowd-pleasing sweets to tempt us. I've instructed my wife to take these to work, so my feeble will power won't be tested.

The recipe is easy to prepare. I think, the recipe came from Paula Deen and was originally titled Ooey Gooey Pumpkin Cakes, but I find them neither ooey or gooey, so I just call them pumpkin bars.

Enjoy!

Ingredients

Cake:

• 1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
• 1 egg
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:

• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
  
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
  
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.
3. To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.
4. Serve with fresh whipped cream.

Variations: For a Pineapple Gooey Cake: Instead of the pumpkin, add a drained 20-ounce can of crushed pineapple to the cream cheese filling. Proceed as directed above.

For a Banana Gooey Cake: Prepare cream cheese filling as directed, beating in 2 ripe bananas instead of the pumpkin. Proceed as directed above.

For a Peanut Butter Gooey Cake: Use a chocolate cake mix. Add 1 cup creamy peanut butter to the cream cheese filling instead of the pumpkin. Proceed as directed above.

Take care,
muddy

Skillet Apple Cake

There hasn't been much sizzle here at The Greasy Skillet. I could blame it on a hectic schedule or my attempt to fight off an ever-expanding waistline or my determination to solve the mystery of Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box or my addiction to college football. I've just been busy not writing. Not writing is definitely easier than writing, but it's much less rewarding and satisfying.

Today I take baby steps to be a more prolific blogger.

Last night I had some mushy apples that demanded to be used, so I turned to a dogeared recipe in the King Arthur Flour Catalogue and prepared an apple skillet cake. With this quick recipe I might have regained my swagger.

Apple Skillet Cake

Ingredients:

Apples

• Four large apples
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon apple pie spice
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Cake

• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons bakign power
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup warm milk
• 1 large egg
• 6 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation:

1. Prehate the oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9 - 10-inch cast iron skillet.
2. Combine the apples with the brown sugar, spices, and salt. Set aside.
3. Combinte the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
4. Mix the warm milk, egg, melted butter, and vanilla. Add to the flour mixture, stirring to combine. Pour into the prepared skillet.
5. Spoon the apple mxture onto the batter. Evenly distribute apples.
6. Bake the cake for about 1 hour, until it's brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven, and cool for 30 minutes. As you wait, enjoy the scent wafting through your kitchen. Fantasize about owning an orchard.
7. Serve it with whipped cream or ice cream.

enjoy,
muddy

Pink Grapefruit-Tequila Sorbet

If I could hibernate through any season, it would be summer. I'd sleep away the triple digit temperatures and high humidity of Kansas summers and stir from my slumber in late September. I'd be 15 pounds lighter and ready to pack on my winter weight and watch college football. Such thoughts are really nonsense. I really need to suck it up and embrace the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor. "I will survive!" I'll endure the heat with thoughts of homegrown tomatoes and watermelons in my future, and I'll make various frozen treats to distract me from the weather.

Pink Grapefruit-Tequila Sorbet
From Southwest Flavors: Santa Fe School of Cooking

Ingredients:

• 4 cups pink grapefruit juice
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup tequila

Instructions:

1. Mix the juice and sugar until dissolved. Chill for 1 hour in the refrigerator. Freeze in an ice cream machine according to manufacturer's instructions. Since alcohol slows the freezing process, add the tequila when the mixture is semi-frozen. If you don't have an ice cream maker, you could probably simply freeze the mixture as you would a granita.
   
2. Enjoy
   

If you could escape any season, what season would it be and where would you flee?

drink plenty of water,
muddywaters

Key Lime Sorbet

Take the joy you felt as a child on the last day of school and multiply it by 1,000. That's the joy a teacher feels when that final bell of the school year rings. In fact, children are incapable of experiencing such elation. If they do, their heads will pop right off.

To celebrate the end of the school year and to kickoff summer, I prepared a Key Lime Sorbet.

Key Lime Sorbet

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup fresh or bottled Key lime juice

Preparation:

1. Bring 3/4 cup water and sugar to boil in heavy medium saucepan, stirring until sugar dissolves.
2. Mix in sweetened condensed milk, then lime juice. Transfer mixture to medium bowl; place over large bowl filled with ice and water and cool, stirring often, about 30 minutes.
3. Process lime mixture in ice cream maker according to manufacturer's instructions.
4. Transfer sorbet to medium container, cover, and freeze until firm, at least 4 hours and up to 2 days.
5. Serve with crushed graham crackers and a little whipped cream.

Enjoy the weekend!
muddy

Icing Capades: Brown Derby Grapefruit Cake

Sunday I baked the Brown Derby's grapefruit cake for my wife on Mother's Day, and for the 2nd time in my life, I iced a cake. I lack the skill to perform this seemingly simple task, so my cake looked like I used some primitive tool carved of stone to ice it. I guess, I should have expected this. After all, my only formal art training consisted of attending weeklong sessions of Vacation Bible School every summer as a child. There I constructed Biblical dioramas that utilized too much glue and way too much glitter, so my scenes looked like a parade of drag queens.

Despite my shoddily iced cake, it's still a better Mother's Day gift than a vacuum cleaner, unless it's one of those Dyson vacs, and then it would all be good.

Brown Derby Grapefruit Cake

• 1 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3 large eggs, separated
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1/4 cup water
• 3 tablespoons grapefruit juice
• 1/2 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
• 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 can (16 ounces) grapefruit sections, drained well

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9-inch round cake pan. Line the bottom of the pan with parchment paper and lightly grease the paper.
2. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, oil, water, grapefruit juice, and lemon zest until smooth. Whisk in the flour mixture.
4. Beat the egg white and the cream of tartar with a mixer in a medium bowl until stiff peaks start to form. With a spatula, gently fold the egg whites into the yolk mixture, until blended. Pour into prepared pan.
5. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes. While it's still in its pan, invert the cake, and cool on a wire rack.
6. Run a knife around the edge of the cake. Carefully remove the cake from the pan.
7. With a serrated knife, cut cake in half horizontally. Spread the cream cheese frosting on the bottom half of the cake. Top with several grapefruit sections. Cover the second layer of the cake and frost the top and sides.
8. Serve the cake garnished with remaining grapefruit sections.
   

Cream Cheese Frosting

• 2 packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese, softened
• 1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
• 1 cup sifted confectioners' sugar

1. In a medium bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese at high speed until light and fluffy.
2. Add the lemon juice and zest. Gradually add the confectioners' sugar and beat until well blended.

Never eat anything bigger than your head,
muddy

Cranberry-Apple Slump

When I travel by car, I often alter my route, so I can visit towns with interesting names. Salt Lick, Kentucky. Nimrod, Texas. Blue Eye, Arkansas. Ten Sleep, Wyoming. Slapout, Oklahoma. All are towns I visited simply because I was drawn in by their names.

I'm the same way about recipes. Tabboleuh. Cheesecake Truffle Bombs. Sex in a Pan. Kuchen. All are recipes I tried because I liked their names. Today I bring you a Cranberry-Apple Slump, the cobbler's twice-removed cousin.

It won't win a beauty contest, but it's functional. It's a dessert that can be prepared on your stovetop, so on those summer days when the temperature reaches triple digits, you won't have to turn on the oven. Topped with a little ice cream, it's a great summer dessert.

Cranberry-Apple Slump

Ingredients:

Filling:

• 1 cup chopped peeled tart apple
• 1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen cranberries (You could also use any combination of fruit)
• Optional: a teaspoon or two of orange zest
  
• 1 cup water
• 2/3 cup white sugar

Dumplings:

• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup white sugar
  
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 3 tablespoons cold butter
• 1/3 cup milk

Directions:

1. In a large skillet, combine the fruit, water and sugar; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 5 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg; cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add milk; stir just until moistened. Drop into 3-4 mounds onto simmering fruit. Now at this point, you'll be a bit worried because the topping will simply pool on top of the filling, and you'll think: This will never work. However, after you cover and simmer, you'll have a puffy, moist dumpling, and who doesn't enjoy a puffy, moist dumpling?
   
3. Cover and simmer for about 10 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into a dumpling comes out clean. Serve warm with ice cream.
   

My first true love is still any fruit crisp, the comfy quilt of desserts, but on days I feel like kicking off the covers, I'll settle for a slump.

Do something fun this weekend,
muddy

P.S. Check out the link to History and Legends of Cobbler, Crisps, Crumble, Brown Betty, Buckle, Grunts, Slumps, Bird's Nest Pudding, Sonker, & Pandowdy

It looks like I need to tackle the Grunt and Sonker, and even though I've heard of a Pandowdy, I've never made one.

Eggnog Cake

In the kitchen, my wife is much more practical than me. While I'm waiting ten days for a sourdough starter to cultivate, she's reaching for cans of cream of chicken soup to prepare a casserole. She's the queen of convenience, casseroles, and desserts. This might sound like I'm disrespecting my wife's culinary skills, but I'm not. She's a great cook. In an Iron Chef showdown for convenience, she'd make me look like a chump. Today I offer you a delicious recipe my wife threw together for a recent holiday party.

1. Prepare a two-layer white cake mix, substituing eggnog for the water.
2. Bake in bundt pan according to directions on the mix.
3. Cool as directed.
4. For icing, mix 1 cup powdered sugar, 1 tablespoon spice rum, 2 to 3 teaspoons of eggnog to reach drizzling consistency.
5. Drizzle icing over the cake.

Why does eating a slice of bundt cake always make me feel much older than I actually am?

take care,
muddywaters

Fried Apples in a Bourbon Caramel Sauce

(A hot stove with a big bottle of bourbon next to it is no place for a four-year-old, but we're down with this action at The Greasy Skillet)

I'm not the most social person when I cook. I'd like to say that this is because I immerse myself and lose myself in the art of cooking, but it just isn't true. I'm by nature a quiet person who is a bit of an introvert. Sure I can step into the spotlight or work a room like a skilled politician, but I prefer solitude.

I'm also not social while I cook because I'm deficient when it comes to multitasking. My focus is singular and sometimes this complicates my life. If you want to see me frazzled, put me behind the wheel of a car, direct me to the nearest fast food drive-thru lane, and while I'm ordering shout out changes or additions to the order. I short circuit. I know this is quite odd, it's how I roll. I never claimed to be normal.

When I cook with my daughter, I have to keep the above facts in mind. I almost have to mentally prep myself to cook with her; however, I am getting better. Being a parent has loosened me up a bit. Tuesday night I carefully premeasured all of my ingredients, set out all of my utensils, pulled myself out of my shell, and invited my daughter into the kitchen to prepare some Fried Apples in a Bourbon Caramel Sauce, a little recipe I found over at Fritter.If dining with a four-year-old is torture, cooking with one is like catching snow flakes with the tip of your tongue or making snow angels or a friendly snowball fight. Children possess a boundless exuberance and joy when it comes to tackling tasks that I find to be mundane or a nuisance. She even injected a little spunk into the simple act of peeling and slicing apples. While I internalize the joy of cooking, my daughter's joy manifests itself in a series of giggles, gyrations, smiles, laughter, whoops, and hollers. She throws herself into the experience by tasting, smelling, asking questions, and making observations. It's full throttle in the kitchen with her, and at times I find myself moving my foot towards the break pedal. I check myself, and just let the experience meander.

She notices that the winesap apples (Which really didn't work well for this recipe because they were reduced to an apple sauce consistency by the time we were done. It was still tasty though) resembled plums because they're small and the red skin bled into the flesh of the apple, giving it a plum-like appearance. She laughs when I say whiskey because she just finds some words amusing. Nothing was commonplace.
Through the whole experience cooking with her, I'm reminded that there's much this 38-year-old can learn from a four-year-old.


Cook with someone you love this weekend,
muddywaters

Miss Little Picky Eater

(My four-year-old daughter enjoys deconstructed beef & vegetable soup because she does NOT like soup)

Dining with a four-year-old is a form of torture. In fact, if you peruse the Geneva Accords, it's listed right after waterboarding as a form of torture prohibited by civilized countries. At the family dinner table, my four-year-old daughter tests my patience and pushes me to the brink of insanity. Her turned up nose and a constant string of comments/questions burrow under my skin:

• Why can't we have chicken nuggets?
• Do I have to eat everything?
• This is too spicy.
• I don't like grill marks.
• What's this speck on my food? Is it a spice or herb? What is thyme? (I actually don't mind these questions, but they're often used as a diversion tactic)
  
• It's too hot!
• I'm waiting for my food to cool?
• I'm not hungry.

• Do I have to it?
• How much?
• What's for dessert?
• If I don't eat my dinner, can I still have dessert?
• But I want dessert?
• Can I have some more milk?
  
• Do I have to eat it?

• How much do I have to eat?
• Then can I have dessert?
  

After being barraged with my daughter finickiness, I have to push myself away from the table, so that I'm not tempted to grab a fork or knife and poke my eye out in effort to end my misery. I exercise restraint because I know that this would traumatize my daughter and an eye patch would look unbecoming on me.

Of course, I'm exaggerating my daughter's dinner table antics a bit. She's actually not a terrible eater. When it comes to eating vegetables, I never have to fight her. In many ways, she's an ideal diner to cook for because she sincerely appreciates a good meal, and like me, an anticipated meal can be the focal point of her entire day. Sometimes she breaks into an impromptu song and dance that praises an impending meal. Shouldn't all good food be greeted with song and dance? When she experiences a good meal, she lavishly praises my efforts. She's a kinder, gentler, esteem-lifting version of an Iron Chef judge. As you know, it's enjoyable to cook for someone who appreciates a good meal.

A few weeks ago, my daughter lifted my spirits after I prepared the Fried Apples in Bourbon Caramel Sauce recipe that Sarah over at Fritter posted. After tasting the apples, she set down her spoon. Her eyes widened, a mega-watt smiled beamed across her face, and she said "Mmmmm! This is quite delicious. How did you make this?"

As we enjoyed the last of our apples, we talked about the recipe and made plans to gather at the stove soon to cook as father and daughter. Tomorrow I'll share my experience cooking with her.
Try a little tenderness,
muddywaters

The Cheese of Space and Time: Cranberry-Orange Spread

A long time ago, I lived in Lincolnville, Kansas, where I taught at Centre High School. I loved living there, but it had a few drawbacks:

1. Livestock outnumbered young, single females.
2. On the few occasions I shopped at the local liquor store, I felt like the entire community had me under surveillance.
3. The few businesses in town closed at 8:00 or earlier in the evening, so if I needed to purchase anything essential, I had to drive 45 miles to the nearest store.

The last fact challenged this food-loving soul. If I developed a craving during the night, I just had to go to bed and sleep through it. This often resulted in Daliesque* dreams comprised of melting cheese and phallic vegetables. Hunger-induced dreams aren't pretty.

One time sleep couldn't stifle a 1:00 a.m., chocolate craving. My bachelor cupboards were bare, except for a box of brownie mix, so I mixed it up - minus the eggs - and ate the batter with a spoon. It's best to draw the shades if you indulge in such culinary perversions.

Last night when I scraped the mixing bowl and sampled a cranberry-orange spread I had just prepared, I thought about my desperate attempt to satiate my craving so long ago. For a brief second, I felt the need to be absolved of this culinary sin. This feeling quickly passed and I mustered the gumption to polish off the mixture of cream cheese, butter, and sugar remaining in the bowl.

Here's the recipe for the Cranberry Orange Spread adapted from Carole Walter's Great Coffee Cakes, Sticky Buns, Muffins & More, which contains a whole chapter full of recipes for spreads, glazes, icing, and streusels.

Cranberry Orange Spread

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 2 tablespoons orange-flavored liqueur
• 6 tablespoons dried cranberries plumped
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 6 ounces cream cheese softened
• 1/4 cup sifted powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon freshly grated orange zest
• pinch of salt

Preparation:

1. Combine the orange juice and orange liqueur in a small saucepan. Warm liquid over low heat, then add cranberries. Allow them to steep for 5 minutes. Drain the cranberries and pat them dry with paper towels.
2. Place the cranberries in a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Pulse until finely chopped.
3. Add the butter, powdered sugar, cream cheese, zest, and salt. Process until everything is combined. Remove the mixture and place in a small bowl. Refrigerate
4. When you're ready to use the spread, allow it to soften before serving.

**As many of you know, artist Salvador Dali's most famous work is The Persistence of Memory. After reading The History of Modern Art by H. H. Arnason, I learned that Dali painted this work one night after dinner, when, after all the guests were gone, he contemplated the leftover Camembert cheese melting on the table. According to Dali the painting is "nothing more than the soft, extravagant, solitary, paranoiac-critical Camembert cheese of space and time." I don't know what the hell that means, but when you're Salvador Dali, you can spout such gibberish and it's cool. Here's what I do know:

Once again, food is more than food; it has the power to inspire legendary artists.

lick the bowl clean,
muddywaters

Apple Walnut Caramel Kuchen

Over the past two weeks, I've tried the following new recipes:

1. a pumpkin cream cheese spread.
2. a pumpkin compound butter
3. a yeasted apple bread.

Both the pumpkin recipes hearkened me back to my diaper-changing days. Anytime a recipe reminds me of changing diapers, it's a sure sign of failure.

I stuck with the apple bread, and after three rounds of tweaking the recipe, it's still not perfect. My failures soured me on the business of trying new recipes, so I vowed to abstain from trying any new recipe for two weeks.

However, cookbook author and pastry maven Carole Walter entered my life. Her book Great Coffee Cakes, Sticky Buns, Muffins & More pulled me from my culinary abyss, restored my confidence, and injected me with enthusiasm. Out of all the amazing recipes, I gravitated towards the Apple Caramel Kuchen because I like to say "Kuchen" and I had a supply of apples that needed to be used.

Kuchen is German for cake, and that's all I really know about it. I first encountered kuchen last spring when I read the book Little Heathens: Hard Times and High Spirits on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression by Mildred Armstrong Kalish. The book is a wonderful little read and contains an outstanding chapter on farm house cooking during the Great Depression.

When I read the recipe for kuchen, I first scratched my head because it was new to me, and then I repeated the word kuchen aloud because that's what I do when I read a word that sounds melodious to me. I do this a lot with words and names. When I'm traveling in my car alone and I hear certain NPR correspondents' names, I repeat them aloud because I like the way they roll off of my tongue: David Folkenflik, David Kestenbaum, Neda Ulaby, Corey Flintoff, and my favorite - Lakshmi Singh.

That's enough nonsense. Here's the recipe:

Apple Caramel Kuchen
**Adapted from Great Coffee Cakes, Sticky Buns, Muffins & More Carole Walter

Crust

• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup lightly toasted walnuts
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
• 2 large egg yolks
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest

Crumb Topping

• 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• pinch of salt
• 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly

Filling

• 3 medium Granny Smith apples (about 1 pound), peeled, halved, and cored.
  
• 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1/4 cup water
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup coarsely chopped and lightly toasted walnut
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation:

1. Position the rack in the middle of the oven. Generously butter a 9-inch springform pan and line the bottom with parchment paper. Place in the refrigerator until ready to use.
   

Crust:

1. Place the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and walnuts in a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Pulse about 10 times. Now add the butter and pulse 10-12 times. Then process for 5 to 7 seconds until fine crumbs are formed.
2. In a small bowls, whisk together the egg yolks, milk, vanilla, and lemon zest. Add to the processor and pulse until the mixture begins to gather together and form a ball.
3. Remove the dough from the food processor and place it on a lightly floured surface. With lightly flours hands, pat it into a disk. Place the disk into the springform pan, and with lightly floured hands, press the dough into the bottom of the pan. Gradually work toward the side of the pan. Once you reach the side, force the dough upward to form a wall 3/4 inch high. Refrigerate the pan while you're preparing the topping and filling.

Crumb Topping

1. Simply whisk the dry ingredients together. Add the the melted butter and stir with a fork until small crumbs forms. Set aside. My four-year-old daughter assisted with this step and enjoyed the process. For the record, she enjoyed repeating the word kuchen, and giggled after saying it. She especially enjoyed taste-testing the crumb. I stress to her that good cooks always sample a dish as it's being prepared.

The Filling

1. Cut the apples into 1/4-inch slices and place them in a large bowl Toss them with lemon zest and 2 1/2 teaspoons of lemon juice. Set the apples aside.
2. Place 1/4 cup water in a 2-quart saucepan. Add the sugar, 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice, and the salt. Stir gently. Cook the liquid on medium-low heat until it comes to a boil. Decrease the heat to low, and continue cooking until the liquid turns a medium amber color. This took me about 10-15 minutes. When the color of the sugar begins to change, watch it carefully, as it can burn in a matter of seconds.
3. Remove the caramel syrup from the heat, and add the heavy cream. Stir until the caramel is smooth. Return to the heat and simmer for 3-4 minutes, or until big bubbles begin to form on the surface. Remove from the heat and stir in chopped walnuts and vanilla. Let cool for 5 minutes.
4. Fold the caramel/nut mixture into the apples. Spoon this mixture into the dough-lined pan.
5. Take the streusel crumbs and sprinkle then evenly over the filling.

Baking

1. Preheat over to 350 degrees.
   
2. Anytime I use a springform pan, it seems like it leaks, so I placed the pan on a rimmed baking sheet to catch any leakage. Lady Luck was on my side when I baked because there was no messy leaks. Bake for 55 to 60 minutes.
3. Remove the cake from the oven and let it cool on a rack for 20 minutes.Release and remove the side of the pan and allow to cool for 30 more minutes. To remove the bottom of the pan and the parchment, place a strip of foil directly on top of the cake, cupping the foil around the side to hold the topping in place. Cover with a cooling rack, invert the cake, and carefully lift off the bottom of the pan and remove the parchment. Immediately cover with another rack, invert again, and remove the foil. Anxiety heckled me during this process. I just knew I was doomed to fail, but the cookbook - Carole Walter's proxy - was there to calmly talk me through the process. I successfully unveiled my Apple Walnut Caramel Kuchen.

Enjoy,
muddywaters

PS. . . Later I tackle babka - another fun word to say.

I highly recommend the book Great Coffee Cakes, Sticky Buns, Muffins & More by Carole Walter. Not only do you get great recipes, but you get:

• her expert advice.
• tips on freezing and reheating many recipes. If you're like me and like to stow away tasting treats in the freezer to have on hand when company drops in, you'll appreciate these tips.
  
• an entire chapter on different glazes, spreads, and streusels.

Apple Crisp

Fall is here.


I'm slowly making my way through my fall to-do list.

1. Stew a chicken
2. Read some Robert Frost
   
3. Visit the pumpkin patch
4. Carve a Jack-O-Lantern
5. Roast pumpkin seeds
6. Listen to Willie Nelson's album The Red-Headed Stranger from start to finish in one sitting.
7. Grow a beard
8. Spend the afternoon creatively loafing in downtown Lawrence.
   
9. Take a Sunday drive to view the fall foliage
10. Bake a ham
11. Reread The River Why.
    
12. Organize my sweaters
    
13. Enjoy the Maple Leaf Festival
14. Make ham and bean soup
15. Jump in a pile of leaves
16. Make an apple crisp

Yesterday I prepared an apple crisp. It's a slapdash affair, perfect for a guy like me who doesn't possess a delicate, artful touch. A little whole wheat in the crisp gives this apple crisp a nutty flavor.


Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup whole-wheat flour
• 3/4 cup quick-cooking oats
• 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar, divided
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, divided
• 1/2 cup chilled butter, cut into small pieces
• 6 cups (about 2 1/2 pounds) chopped peeled apples (I used Winesap Apples grown by Beisecker Farms in Baldwin City, Kansas).
  

Note: I sometimes add a little nutmeg to the crisp topping. Sometimes I also add a little lemon juice and lemon zest to the apple mixture. Tonight I didn't have a lemon.

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 375°.

2. Lightly spoon flour into a dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Combine flour, oats, 1/2 cup sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon in a medium bowl; cut in butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse meal.

3. Combine 1/4 cup sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, and apples in a 13 x 9-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle with oat mixture. Bake at 375° for 30 minutes or until apples are tender.
   

Enjoy,

muddywaters

Baked Snickers and Apples

I have a bit more to report on The Sound of Music movie extravaganza my wife hosted, but I've decided to give everyone a break. Every single day can't be filled with liters of beer, hearty helpings of goulash, scenic views from the Alps, and frolicking Van Trapps. It's time to return to reality.

I shouldn't post today's entry for two reasons: First, my photo of this recipe resembles something you'd find in a kitty litter box. Second, the recipe betrays the slow food philosophy I strive to adhere to in the kitchen.

Despite all of this, I'm a realist. Sometimes I need to reach for a recipe that is quick, satisfies my craving, and allows me to get back to the 2nd half of the college football game I'm currently watching.

I present to you Baked Snickers and Apples:

Preparation:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
2. Peel, core, and slice a couple of apples.
3. Layer the apples in a small baking dish.
4. Chop a Snickers bar.
5. Sprinkle the Snickers bar over the apples.
6. Bake until the chocolate and caramel is melted

I feel dirty. This weekend I'll reclaim my culinary credibility by making the Apple-Almond Braid over at Simmer Till Done.

Keep your skillet good and greasy,
muddywaters

PS . . . I'd like to thank Hollyce for the recipe.

Cranberry-Upside-Down Coffee Cake

It's Sunday evening. Since I'm trying to enjoy every last drop of this beautiful weekend, I'll dispense with the words for this entry. I'll just give you the wonderful recipe for the coffee cake I prepared for breakfast this morning:

Cranberry-Upside-Down Coffee Cake

Cake:

• Cooking spray
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries
• 1/4 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
• 1 teaspoon grated orange rind
• 1/2 cup butter, softened and divided
• 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (about 6 3/4 ounces)
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 cup buttermilk

Glaze:

• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon half and half
  
• 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. To prepare cake, coat a 9-inch square baking pan with cooking spray; dust with 1 tablespoon flour. Combine cranberries, walnuts, and rind in a bowl. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir in brown sugar, 2 tablespoons juice, and cinnamon; cook 3 minutes, stirring constantly.
   
3. Pour brown sugar mixture into prepared pan. Sprinkle cranberry mixture evenly over brown sugar mixture.
4. Lightly spoon 1 1/2 cups flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl, stirring well with a whisk. Place granulated sugar and remaining 6 tablespoons butter in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended. Add vanilla and egg; beat well. Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to granulated sugar mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Spoon batter over cranberry mixture.
5. Bake at 350° for 40 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan 5 minutes on a wire rack; run a knife around outside edges. Invert cake onto a plate; cool.
6. To prepare glaze, combine powdered sugar and remaining ingredients in a small bowl, stirring until smooth. Drizzle over cake. Cut cake into squares.

Enjoy,
muddywaters

Apple Dumplings

If I had a mistress, her name would be Autumn Skye, and I'd meet her once a week at a cabin in the woods. Wearing comfortable flannel shirts, we spend our morning sitting on the front porch, where we'd watch the leaves fall and make a list of our favorite fall foods. In between sips of coffee and conversation about our favorite ways to prepare chili, she might suggest that I grow a beard because it would suit me. Then the rest of our day would be spent in bed reading cookbooks to each other. If we found a recipe for a hearty stew or soup,we might prepare it for a late lunch and serve it with good, crusty bread slathered with butter. Finally,we'd end our day with a fall inspired fresh-baked dessert like the following:

Apple Dumplings
(From Peace, Love, and Barbecue by Mike Mills and Amy Mills Tunnicliffe)

Ingredients:

• 1 package of puff pastry
• 2 large Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and quartered
• 8-ounce package of cream cheese, cut into 8 equal pieces
• 1 cup orange juice
• 2/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13 by 9-inch baking dish.
2. Cut each pastry sheet into 5-inch squares. Then place an apple wedge on each piece of puff pastry and top with a piece of cream cheese.
3. Wrap the puff pastry sheet around the apple and cream cheese. Crimp the edges to seal, and place the dumplings in the baking dish.
4. Bring the orange juice, butter, and 2/3 cup sugar to a boil in a saucepan. Pour over the dumplings.
5. Mix together the remaining sugar and cinnamon. Then sprinkle over the dumplings.
6. Bake for 25 minutes or until golden. Normally the liquid will thicken into a delicious, orange-flavored caramel. If this doesn't happen, let everything cool a bit, remove the dumplings from the dish, and pour the liquid into a microwave-safe dish. If you microwave it for 2-3 minutes, It should thicken into a caramel. You could also do this in a sauce pan over medium-high heat.
   
7. Serve and enjoy. Some decadent souls eat their dumplings topped with a scoop of ice cream.
   

Now I admit that there are probably better ways to make dumplings, but I like this recipe because it's quick, easy, and the perfect way to provide a tah-dah ending to a weeknight meal. The Pioneer Woman Cooks also has a convenient apple dumpling recipe that utilizes canned crescent rolls and a can of Mountain Dew. I'm eager to try it this fall. My favorite dumpling to eat might be the ones the United Methodist Church serves at the Apple Festival in Weston, Missouri.

faithfully yours,
muddywaters

Miyauchi's Snack Bar: The Lemonade Cooler

Sometimes the prod of my wife's demands lead to inspiration. A week ago we were enjoying the beautiful scenery and settling into full vacation mode as we sat at the Grand Lake public docks. My wife decided that the moment would be complete if she had a dish of sherbet or sorbet, so I embarked on a quest to find this treat.

I approached Miyauchi's Snack Bar and quickly realized there was no sherbet or sorbet on the menu. I grew tense because I knew there was a strong possibility that my quest would end in a miserable failure. I could return to the docks empty handed, or even worse, I could return with a treat that missed the mark when it came to satisfying my wife's craving. If this happened, I'd be labeled an incompetent male incapable of satisfying my wife's needs, and somewhere in a string of disparaging insults, I might be called an insensitive jerk. It's tough being a guy. It's one test after another.

I frantically scanned the menu for an appropriate proxy to the sherbt. Fortunately, the last item on the menu, something called a Lemonade Cooler, looked like it could meet my wife's criteria. I The Lemonade Cooler was simply soft serve ice cream mixed with lemonade.

The cashier slid the Lemonade Cooler my way. I took a sip. It possessed the consistency of a milkshake. The sweetness and creaminess of the ice cream offered a nice contrast to the tartness of the lemonade. I strolled towards the docks wearing a triumphant smile. On bended knee, I presented my wife with my snack bar treasure. She frowned when she saw it wasn't sherbet. Then she tasted a treat, and a smile graced her lovely face. I emerged victorious and on that day I brought great glory to males everywhere.

Of course, I had to attempt this recipe at home. Here it is:

Ingredients:

• 1 cup vanilla ice cream
• 1/2 cup lemonade

Directions:

1. Simply place ingredients in a blender and blend until the mixture the consistency of a milkshake.
2. Serve in a glass with a straw.
   

NOTE: The Lemonade Cooler is best enjoyed while lounging on a porch or dock.

Life is good,
muddywaters