I'm considering sleeping with my rye sourdough culture. No, I'm not someone who has a fetish for Saccharomyces cerevisiae. You see, I'm struggling to bring my culture to life. I'm into day #5, and my starter remains a lifeless glob resembling brick mortar. There are no beautiful strands of gluten. No rising. No air bubbles. Just a sour scent.
I think, my sourdough culture's lack of life can be attributed to the fact that my furnace themostat is usually set at 65 degrees. According to the recipe I'm using, the culture should rest in an environment where the temperature is between 70 and 75 degrees. After day #6, the recipe recommends a balmy 80-85 degree temperature.
The inside of our home rarely reaches these temeperatures, so I'm contemplating sleeping with my sourdough culture. I'm a bear of a man who generates a lot of body heat when I'm nestled underneath our down comforter and flannel sheets.
I've read that grizzled mining camp cooks often snuggled with their pirzed crocks of sourdough starters when evening temperatures dipped. I'm willing to do the same for my art, but I need to consider one thing: Is sleeping with a sourdough culture grounds for divorce?
Maybe I should just buy a little papoose for my sourdough starter, and I could cradle it next to my body all day. No one would stare; would they?
I'm not a well man.
Dressing sharp, but feelin' dull,