Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Steve Sax of Pastry Baking

Yesterday I attempted to bake tiny chocolate cakes with molten centers, but they looked something like bear scat. I was aiming for something that would impress my wife on her birthday, not bear scat. I feel very at ease in the kitchen, and most actions are instinctual. However, don't ask me to prepare dessert. If I can use a baseball analogy, I'm Steve Sax (see note below) when it comes to pastries. There's really no explanation for my ineptitude. I should be able to bake a dessert, but in the pastry kitchen, I specialize in creating lumps, clumps, mish-mashes, bricks, scat, dung, WTF's, charcoal, surrealistic edible white trash folk art. Now I realize that I might need to consult a pastry psychologist to clear my head of my baking insecurities.

What demons plague you in the kitchen? Please make me feel better.

Throwing high and wide and missing the mark,

NOTE from Wikipedia:

Though never regarded as one of the top fielding second baseman in the league, Steve Sax inexplicably became incapable of making routine throws to first base in 1983, committing 30 errors that season. This is referred to in baseball terminology as "Steve Blass disease", named after the Pirates pitcher who suffered a similar breakdown of basic mechanics. As his accuracy suffered, fans sitting behind the first base dugout began wearing batting helmets as mock protection. (Teammate Pedro Guerrero, an outfielder pressed into service at third base in 1983, once reportedly stated that his first thought whenever he was in the field was "I hope they don't hit it to me," while his second thought was "I hope they don't hit it to Sax.") By 1989, however, Sax seemed to be completely "cured", leading the American League in both fielding percentage and double plays.


Marianne said...

I can't bake a good layer cake to save my life....much less frost it. Thank God we have bakeries in town.

Rechelle said...

Ha ha! I have Steve Sax baking disease too. But I know why. It is impossible for me to follow directions. I always think I can add something or subtract something or that the flour or the baking soda doesn't really matter and I will just add this yummy chicken grease instead... it never works out.

PictureGirl said...

Just found you site and love it, enjoy your witty sense of humor.

The only demon I have in the kitchen is that I bake too often for my waistline.