"Order off the menu? Out. Cellphone call? Beat it. Sometimes people don't even make it into a seat, as in the case of of infamous no-parties-bigger-than-four rule. Or maybe Shopsin simply doesn't like you."If I ran a restaurant, I'd refuse to serve any of the following customers:
- Anyone speaking on a cellphone in my restaurant. Here's a novel idea: Have a conversation with people near you.
- Anyone who orders chicken strips or chicken nuggets. I realize that this rule will bar my daughter from dining at my restaurant, but I need to take a stand against processed, boneless chicken.
- Anyone wearing an offensive t-shirt.
- Anyone using profanity. Unless you can curse with the Shakespearean eloquence of the characters on HBO's Deadwood, profanity will earn you a one-way ticket out the door.
- Any customer who doesn't wash his/her hands after using the restroom.